Jasper's Secret Obsession
by Kirbiness
Summary: Bella and Edward are at the Cullen's house one day when they hear a strange noise coming from Jasper's Room. A series of flashbacks relating to Jasper's obsession, HARRY POTTER! CHAPTER 4 UP: HARRY POTTER OOTP MOVIE PREMEIRE, IN LONDON!
1. The Secret

**A/N**: This is my first fan fiction, and I have been intimidated to post it. I love writing humor stories, but most of mine seem too dull. I scribbled this down while at church, so tell me what you think. I'm going to make it multiple chapters, considering in the first one, it doesn't show how obsessed he is… Enjoy, hopefully.

**Disclaimer**: Obviously I do not own any famous thing, (including _Twilight and Harry Potter_) or brand in this story. If I did, I wouldn't be typing on a Windows 98 right now in my pajamas, in fact I probably wouldn't be typing at all, so I say NO COPY RIGHT INFRINGMENT INTENDED, STORY WRITTEN FOR FUN, NOT TO GET FAMOUS.

**Jasper's Secret Obsession**

It was just another average day at the Cullen's house and Edward and I were sitting on his couch listening to a new band when we heard something not so ordinary.

Almost all the Cullen's excluding Jasper and Edward, had gone on a weekend long hunting trip, it had been very quiet before now, so when this noise came it shocked us.

It was coming from the room below us, Jasper's office, it started to fade after a while, so I turned my attention to Edward. "What in the world was that?" I said, trying to muffle laughs. Jasper had always been so quiet when I had been around him, or was that even him?

"Do you really want to know?" He outright laughed. "Follow me, but do try to be quiet he doesn't know we are here…"

I jumped down off of the bed and on the floor. It wasn't as graceful as I had planned it, there was a muffled crash, I blushed and Edward laughed again, as he picked me up and we set down the stairs quiet as a mouse to Alice's room, which connected to Jasper's office.

We listened at the door, and to say the least I was shocked.

"NO CEDRIC DON'T DIE!" There was what sounded like muffled cries in the background. I pulled away and laughed my butt off. Wow, a vampire obsessed with Harry Potter who would have thought something like that possible. I looked at Edward to see him laughing too, but he didn't looked as shocked, as I knew I was. He took a break form laughing, took a deep breath and said,

"This is not the first time this has happened! Alas, he even sometimes pretends to be Cedric Diggory, he used to display his love for the Potter thing more, until Alice caught him, to say the least it scarred her forever…" He started laughing again.

"Can he not hear us either, I mean we are not exactly being quiet…" More laughter, if I continued this I would die soon."

"Nope, he can't when he is with Pooter he tunes everything out, its like he's in a trance."

" So this isn't the first time I imagine?"

"No not by far, sit down I will tell you all about why Jasper loves his Harry Pooter…"

**A/N:** Sorry it was so short, I'm trying to keep it as light as possible, I will update with more chapters soon if you like it. Just tell me in the review. I do not mind constructive criticism, just don't burn me to death!


	2. The Discovery

**A/N:**To all of you that asked, I meant to say Harry Pooter it isn't a spelling mistake. I'm sorry I should have made that more obvious in the story. Edward happens to hate the boy wizard, and gives him a lot of nicknames. Another popular one is Harry Puker. Thanks to all the people that reviewed the last chapter, and just because I'm bored I'm probably going to post the next chapter the same day, or early in the morning at least. I hope you like this chapter, and there will probably be more, or at least a new story.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight, Harry Potter, or anything special. In fact I'm kind of a loser. Don't you feel sorry for me? NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGMENT INTENDED. Please don't sue me.

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**Jasper's Secret Obsession**

"I know it may seem kind of sad, but Alice was the first one to get Jasper involved in Harry Puker." I laughed. Once Jasper found out about this Edward was sure to be a dead man. He smiled and continued…

"Now it all happened a few years ago when Harry Potter first came out…"

**Purple swirling mist!**

FLASHBACK:

We were all sitting in the sitting room when all of a sudden, Alice burst in the door carrying a book. Jasper wasn't far behind her; only while she was smiling and almost dancing, Jasper was scowling and irritated.

"It is the most wonderful thing!" Alice exclaimed still dancing, cradling the book in her arms like it was her own child, "there is a new WOMAN author that is supposed to go down in history because of this book!" She shoved the cover in my face showing me. It was the first Harry Potter book.

Judging by the cover art it seemed to be completely ordinary, in fact to me it sort of looked like a retarded boy, but thinking of that cliché, 'You can never judge a book by a cover' made me just sigh.

Alice had recently gotten into Women's rights, and she had been trying for the past five months to persuade us that women were the superior race, only Rosalie and Esme agreed with her. Ha! Like any of us MEN believed that! But Of all the people in the house Jasper has had it pushed on him the most. Poor fellow.

Alice continued her dancing around, as Jasper went upstairs. He was really upset, and it was starting to get to me too. I wondered why, so I searched his mind.

_If she thinks that I'm gonna read that book just because I'm right about something and she is wrong then she is Mistaking…STUPID WOMEN'S RIGHTS, SINCE WHEN DID WOMEN MATTER?_

After hearing this I knew they must have had a fight, but he had mentioned reading the Potter book, so I asked her about it after Jasper had retreated to his office.

"Alice did you and Jasper have a brawl or something?" I sighed. I absolutely hated seeing my brother that way.

"Oh Edward it's nothing, he just expressed to me his thought on the matter of Women's rights rather violently in the Book Store, and needless to say, I don't agree with him. He was acting rather sexist…" I interrupted.

"And you aren't Alice? You have been rather annoying with it recently, especially to him." She flashed a huge grin and replied with,

" Not really, why would I be sexist?"

She laughed and I scowled.

"Well, how are you punishing him?"

She smiled again.

"Oh, let's just say before he even wants to think about kissing me again, he has to read the whole Harry Potter book, and write a college level essay on why the women race is superior to the male race, and it is due by tomorrow…"

Even though I thought this was a really cruel punishment, Jasper actually did it, and I as coming downstairs one night when I heard them discussing it.

"There, I did your work!" I heard papers rustling and then as I looked Jasper had thrown them and they floated down to different parts of the room.

"And what have we learned from this darling?" Alice replied I could hear trying to taunt him, to really rub it in.

"We have leaned that you are a crazy lady that makes her husband suffer and then expects him to apologize for it…" She must have like his answer, because she plopped down on Jasper's lap who was sitting on the couch, and kissed him.

"And how did we like the Harry Potter book?" She smiled, and kissed him again. I was shocked by what happened next, because it was like Jasper exploded almost. He stood up, and by doing so made Alice fall of onto the floor and almost hit the coffee table. He put his arms in the air and almost screamed,

"OH MY GOSH HARRY POTTER IS LIKE THE BEST BOOK I N THE WORLD!" He screamed like a girl who was meeting Jesse McCartney, and then he continued,

"IN FACT IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER, I HAVE ALREADY READ IT LIKE THIRTEEN TIMES AND I EVEN CALLED J.K. ROWLING BUT SHE CALLED ME A STALKER AND HUNG UP, BUT DON'T WORRY I HAVE ALL READY FOUND OUT EVERYTHING ABOUT HER, LIKE WHERE SHE LIVES AND STUFF! MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IS RON I LIKED THE TROLL SCENE THE BEST, HA, IT MADE ME LAUGH FOR A LONG TIME. I AM GOING TO BE THE BIGGEST FAN EVER!"

**Purple Swirling Mist**

END FLASH BACK

"Wow…" I said. "That's kind of scary."

"Ha, that's only the beginning." Edward chuckled. "After that he started writing Fan Fiction…."

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you enjoyed that, this chapter was fun to write, well anyway thanks for reading, and please review, they keep me writing! I have enabled the anonymous review, so if you don't have an account you can review anyway. As you can tell next chapter is going to be about him writing fan fiction, and then I'll do maybe a release party or going to the movies or something. Feel free to suggest anything, and I will update tomorrow. Thanks to all the reviewers! I love you guys! 


	3. Fan Fiction

**A/N:** Howdie ho! Sorry I didn't update yesterday. My friends and I sort of had a Harry Potter party, and went to see the OOTP midnight release. It was so much fun, and the movie is the best of them yet. Sticks to the book really well. I went people watching to find a Jasper that I could use, but I didn't see any guys as obsessed as he is. People watching is fun. - Wow, I have had so many typo's so far I have had to erase. There probably will be more in the story so bear with me. I think I'm only going to do a few more chapters with this story, I will maybe get to 5 or 6 chapters all together. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: ** If I was Dyslexic I would write my disclaimer like this: NO ITNEDNED C POY RGHIT, but I'm not Dyslexic only a little dumb, so really I would say: NO COPY RIGHT INTENDED.

Jasper's Secret Obsession 

"Fan fiction? What in the world is that?" I responded. He just smiled.

"Fan fiction, my dear is when people like Jasper, with to much time on their hands go back and add parts to a book. It can be quite ridiculous sometimes. Some people even get addicted to the point where they are never off the computer!"

I laughed. Of all the people on this fan fiction thing, I'm sure Jasper had probably stayed on the longest of them all. Considering the fact that vampires have the eternity to do anything they wanted to do.

"You see this one time Jasper got so involved in Fan Fiction that…"

Purple swirling mist and dreamy music

FLASHBACK:

It wasn't to long ago, that Carlisle called a family meeting. There were some problems with the werewolves that as a family we needed to sort out. We all were downstairs in a flash, that is all except Jasper.

Alice, being rather worried went upstairs to see what was holding him up. She called his name many times yet he still didn't respond. She finally decided to check his office, and there sat Jasper.

Jasper was sitting in his computer chair typing away wildly; he didn't even look up when Alice had entered.

"Hey Jazz, is everything okay?" No response.

"Jazz, did you hear? Carlisle called a family meeting…" She walked over to the computer, and screamed. The rest of my family joined her in Jasper's office. We were shocked too. Jasper was on a site called Fan fiction, and he appeared to be typing up a story. I tried reading his mind, but there was silence from where he was sitting. He had blocked us out completely.

Alice started a dry sob, and Carlisle picked her up easily and escorted her out of the room whispering to her, "Just let him get it out of his system… He'll have to stop eventually." Alice still continued to cry saying, "WHY did I make him Read THAT BOOK?!"

I on the other hand, while the whole family had cleared out of the room had stayed trying different methods to make him wake up from this stance. I tried punching his arm, hitting him on the back of the head, even jumping up and down, which made the floor shake like an earthquake. I walked out of the room, and saw Emmett entering the room with an armchair, a straw and a stack of napkins in his hands.

"What in the world are you going to do to him?"

"Well if he's going to stay in this state, we might as well have fun with him. A few spitballs won't hurt him, Eh?"

"No I suppose not, but it is kind of mean."

"Nonsense… Later I'm going to dye his hair pink. Now that will be mean. It's up to him whether he wakes up to save his perfect hair."

A whole week past. Alice was still crying like a baby, never really getting over it. Emmett had done a whole spectrum of practical jokes on him. Then, finally exactly a week after beginning his stance, we heard an explosion followed by crying coming from Jasper's office.

The whole family ran up there, and as we opened the door, smoke started filling the room we were in. Jasper was sitting in the chair with his head on the desk crying. Alice ran in and started to hold him. Everyone else entered the room, and we saw what had exploded.

"Jasper, it's okay, everything is fine you were out for a week that's all…" She patted the back of his head trying to comfort him. "Jasper, sweetheart what's wrong?"

"The computer blew up in my FACE, but I wasn't finished with my STORY! I didn't save it…." Jasper was acting like a mother that had just lost her child, and it was absolutely ridiculous to say the least. I turned to Carlisle.

"Could a computer actually blow up like this or was this an outside force?" I glared at Emmett. Alice had helped Jasper out of the chair, and into their adjoining bathroom. Carlisle answered my question,

" I don't think it could really, but I have never been on a computer for one week straight so I don't know…"

I checked what was left of the computer for evidence. I could faintly smell gasoline, and I knew who it had been immediately. Emmett had done this. I spent the rest of my day chasing Emmett around all of Forks, but I'm sure every towns person could hear it when Jasper finally had woken up all the way from his zombie state, and seen all the practical jokes Emmett had done.

END FLASHBACK

Purple swirling mist and dreamy music

Just then, as Edward had finished his story Jasper stepped out of his office, a look of embarrassment on his face.

"You told her everything?"

"I figured what I didn't cover you could easily tell her, you have something to ask her?" Edward smiled his crooked smile. He was really enjoying taunting him, and the mind reading thing on top of it made his tactics just cruel.

"Yes, actually I did. Bella, since no one else in my family will go, and now my secret is out in the open, I was wondering maybe if you would go with me to see the fifth Harry Potter movie premiere in London with me? I have um…. acquired two tickets, and I don't know what to do with the other one…"

Wow. He must be really desperate if he was asking me. Edward was laughing at Jasper now, he thinks I will say no. I had to show Edward how mean he was being, and that I could survive at least a few days without him.

"Yes Jasper, I would love to go…" Edward choked on his laugh. Jasper's face turned pleased.

"Thank you Bella. You better get home to pack then. The plane leaves early tomorrow."

Edward just glared at Jasper, as he grabbed my hand and led me out of the room to take me home.

**A/N: **Hope you liked it. The next two days I'm going to be at a youth conference, so I will not be able to write until then. I have come up with a few stories in my head, so I think I will post them today maybe? Until then, Kirbi.


	4. Movie Premeire

**A/N:** Wow, it has been a while since I have updated! O-o I'm sorry, Harry Potter has been consuming my life for the past week or so, with the book release. WHY DID SHE HAVE TO KILL SO MANY PEOPLE?! sigh Well let's get onto the story anyway. Thanks for all the suggestions and I'm going to try to incorporate all of them in, if I can. Oh yeah, and I Mawr all you peoples that are reading and not reviewing. Yes… I SEE YOU, and know who you are! (Not really… O-o) One word please?

**Disclaimer:** I am not smart enough or do I have the attention span to come up any story that is my own, so I don't own nothing. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGMENT INTENDED.

**JSO CHP 4**

"Bella?"

I was shaken awake suddenly by a voice I recognized. Alice. Alice Cullen was in my room shuffling through something. This cannot be good. I stretched and groaned when I looked at the clock. 5:30 in the morning. Yes, my suspicions where confirmed, something was up.

I sat up, still under the covers and looked out the window through the yellowed lace. It was absolutely dreary outside, my favorite and least favorite type of day. Favorite because Edward would be safe to go anywhere with me today and least favorite because I hated the wet. My thoughts were interrupted again by Alice.

"Bella, I know that you are human and need sleep in all, but we need to hurry, our plane leaves in three hours!" She slammed my dresser shut as she said this and she shoved everything she had pulled out of my dresser into my duffel bag.

I replayed everything she had said in my mind. Then suddenly everything clicked. "Plane? What plane?" I said in pure confusion, what in the world did she mean? She sighed and stopped her packing for a second and sat on the bed next to me. He voice was full of impatience, more than likely at me.

"Bella, dear don't you remember, you agreed to go to the Harry Potter Movie premiere in London with Jasper?" She got back up, as yet again I replayed what she said. Now I understood the plane part, but hadn't it been just been Jasper and I going? What was this our? I felt my eyebrows furrow as I asked Alice more than likely another stupid, obvious, question.

"Define our?" She didn't stop packing this time, she didn't even look up as she was deciding between two graphic shirts.

"Well of course there is you and Jasper…" She choose the white graphic shirt as she continued, seeming reluctant to tell me, "but as you know, since Jasper is not in full control of his blood lust her needs capable babysitters…" My eyes slanted, as I knew what was coming next and I was mad.

"And who have you hired as our babysitters?" I growled. I had wanted to talk to Jasper about maybe doing me a favor. Something Edward would not have been fond of. Alice stopped packing for the second time and she sat on my bed again, avoiding eye contact.

"Well you know, I need to go… I am his wife after all, and well I can't hold Jasper back alone if he has a breakdown. So Emmett is going to go too…" She paused knowing that this was going to make me even more mad. "Edward is tagging along too of course, he only wants to protect you…" I growled. This was exactly what I had not wanted to happen.

"He only had one more ticket. You just can't get more of those tickets out of no where…" My face turned smug, I had beaten them.

"Bella…" She sighed, patting me on the head like I was her pet. "When he said that he acquired them… It sort of meant that he made copies of the real ones." My face turned to one of shock how could one possibly? But then I stopped and realized that it really should not surprise me at all.

I pulled myself of the bed and retreated to the bathroom. I ticked off lists of things I needed to do, and then it came to me. Charlie, how was I going to tell Charlie. As if she was reading my mind, Alice called out from behind the bathroom door, "Carlisle invited Charlie on a weekend fishing trip, don't worry…" I sighed. Now that everything I was worried about was taken care of I showered quickly dried my hair and pulled on my favorite pair of blue jeans, and black long sleeved shirt and a designer scarf Alice had given me. I simply chose to wear sneakers, even though Alice seemed to disapprove. This was going to be a long uncomfortable flight anyway. No reason to make it any worse with heels.

* * *

"MWHAHAHAHAHA! Another minion for my coven of vampire fruit!" Emmett, who was sitting in the same row as me and Edward had just sunk his teeth into a banana. He then placed it on his tray table and proceeded to whispering to the fruit. So far he had the banana, an apple, a pear, cherry, and an orange. I had to say it was absolutely ridiculous. He had been at this for two hours already, because he was simply bored. Even though he had come with plenty of entertainment: PSP (broke it by pushing to hard on the "b" button), and laptop (got taken up when lost a game of solitaire and cussed loudly.) He was now speaking to his Vampire fruit in a secret fruit language, that he did in a whisper so no one could hear him. None of the other Cullens seemed to notice. I was starting to wonder two things: Firstly, why do they make fun of Jasper for his Harry Potter obsession when obviously Emmett does things like this all the time, and secondly what other quirky things are the Cullen's hiding from me?

We had been sitting on the plane for too long. Six hours now and we still had two hours to go. Since there wasn't enough seats in first class Emmett, Edward, and I had chosen to sit in coach, while Alice and Jasper had gotten first class. While they had the softer leather chairs, we had the itchy wool chairs, which had barely any padding. Not only this, but you would occasionally find a gum in the furnishings. It is NOT pleasant to stick your hand in gum, even if Emmett thinks it is.

Not only was it the physical atmosphere that was annoying, the other passengers in coach with us were rather loud, and annoying. Behind us sat a tired, nursing mother and her two misbehaving redheaded sons. They kicked they screamed, but the mother never did anything. In front of us sat what must have been the loudest people ever. A middle age lady with blue black hair that didn't match her skin tone, her husband who had completely white receding hair, and their teenage son with his headphones turned up so loud that the whole plane could her the rap he was listening too. The lady had gone from watching the in-flight movie laughing her heart out, to yelling at her husband who had fallen asleep.

After a while of listening to the yelling, yet no one complaining about it, Emmett decided to take it into his own hands. As the stewardess was passing by, Emmett grabbed her shirt with one hand and pulled her around to face him. It was amazing how serious he was as he said, "Miss…" Emmett faked some sobs. "That lady right there…" He pointed at the loud black haired lady. "Well she has been sexually harassing me everytime she walk by, and it's scaring me, could you please do something?" He looked up at the stewardess with scared eyes, what an actor he was being right now.

"Y-yes sir, I-I w-will take care of it…" Even though Emmett had been acting completely normal, he had dazzled her. She continued to walk up the isle and up to the cockpit more than likely. Emmett gave Edward a hug high five.

"You know Emmett of all you stupid plans this is the best thing you have done by far! Now we can get rid of the witch minus the W plus a B!" Edward seemed ecstatic. It must be hard having super senses like he does. She must have been really loud to him.

Edward had been sulking the whole ride, because I hadn't been thrilled at his coming on the trip. Why should I be? I might have been a vampire if he hadn't come. One hour later, after the black haired lady had been forcibly removed from her seat (much to the delight of the son and the husband) we were bored again. I was hungry too, and not thinking I grabbed the apple sitting on Emmett's tray, and began to open my mouth to take a bite. When there was a girly scream from right next to me.

"NO BELLA! WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?" Emmett slapped the apple from my hand, and before it fell to the floor. Edward turned with a look of outrage on his face, but remained self-control because he said the next phrase in a whisper.

"Emmett, if Bella is hungry than let her eat! What does it matter that you are less one fruit?" Emmett stared wide-eyed at his brother, and said in a whiny child's voice,

"But Edward! Bella was about to eat Aro!"

* * *

I was really grateful that we landed a few minutes after that, my butt hurt really badly. We got a taxi to show us around before we headed to our hotel. I had to admit London was absolutely gorgeous. I had always loved the city anyway, but I had to admit I liked the style of the buildings here better than in the United States.

Our hotel was what I would have expected from the Cullens. It had to easily have been five stars. There was a winding river in the lobby, and if you looked above you could see the balconies of all the floors above. The walls were a light jade color, and the borders were gold. Each couple got their own room, excluding Emmett who was going to be staying in a room alone.

Each room had a king size four poster bed inside, and the walls were white instead of green, but still had the gold border. Yet again, it seemed that I had completely forgotten about why we were even in London when Edwards cell phone rang. With a sad look on his face, he let go of me and retrieved the phone out of his pocket. He looked at who it was and then flipped it open, then pushing another button. He had put it on speakerphone. He put his finger in front of his mouth vertically to tell me not to say a word though.

"Hello Rosalie… Why are you calling me?"

"Well, thanks for the warm hello bra… I was just calling to tell you that I have done some work on your Volvo. Nothing big though…"

"Oh, thanks I guess… Did you replace the spark plugs? I have been meaning to do that." His voice trailed off, as the other end of the line remained silent. "Rosalie, what did you do to my Volvo?"

Her voice was innocent, "Oh nothing… I just painted in a new color. You know that color that is purple, yet when it's in the sun it looks all blue, and a little green? It's really prett…" a growling, surly Edward interrupted her.

"You have better not be telling the truth Rosalie… Because when I get back I will…" His voice trailed as someone burst through the door screaming a war cry. Emmett.

"ATTACK ARO! SHE TRIED TO DETROY YOU, SHE MUST PAY!" He screamed as he ran forward holding some fruit in his hands.

* * *

I looked at myself in the mirror. Why was it always Alice that could bring out the glamour and chic in me? My hair had been curled, but left down, and my makeup was smoky. It matched the city of London itself. I was wearing a very simple black cocktail dress with short sleeves. At the top there was a white lace frill. The dress touched my knees. I was wearing high heels again, much to my dislike. Weren't ballet flats "in" right now?

We set out and got a taxi. We arrived at what looked like an exact replica of the red carpet you would find in the United States. There were already people lined up on the sides, camera and notepad in hand. We decided to wait on the right side that was less crowded, but it didn't last for that long. Soon both sides were bustling with people getting more excited by the moment.

Jasper seemed tense to say the least. He stood up rigid against the bars separating him from the carpet. He was also unresponsive, no matter how many times we called his name he didn't answer. When Emmett patted him on his back, his hand was slapped away. Jasper never looked back to even face us.

Alice was nervous too. There was a ton of people standing up next to Jasper, most of them bumping into him even. She was waiting for him to do two things, either he would snap and hurt the person, or his blood lust would take over him, and he would drain the person. As the night progressed and we stood still waiting, my feet aching, suddenly it happened. A whole pack of black limos drove up, and the photographers suddenly went wild. The boy who played Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) stepped out of the limo followed by some bodyguards. He started to walk down the carpet to mighty applause. He kept on walking waving to the crowd, signing some notepads and pictures. He neared where we were standing and something we hadn't been expecting happened. Jasper mearly pulled out a photograph, pushed to the absolute front, and asked Daniel to sign it for him. He wasn't even violent at all, if you excluded him screaming, " OH MY GOSH I LOVE YOU!" to almost every one that when down the carpet. He was especially loud when Emma Watson came down (Hermionie Granger). Alice couldn't help but scowl.

Many actors and actresses passed by us, but Jasper hadn't done anything bad yet. In fact the worse thing he did was shove a woman to the ground to get to the front, but it wasn't even that hard. Then, the worst happened. J.K. Rowling stepped out of the last black limo. She started to make her way down smiling, but she hadn't even known what hit her. Jasper had jumped over the bars that were separating the isle from the crowd, and he was screaming like a girl as he went up and shook J.K. Rowling herself. He looked like a bully trying to shake lunch money off of a victim. In a newly acquired British accent Jasper screamed in her face,

"OH MI GOSH LIKE THE FAMOUS J.K.! IT'S LIKE GREAT TO SEE YOU! I'M LIKE YOUR BIGGEST FAN! LIKE EVER!!!!!!!! PLEASE COULD YOU PUT ME UP FOR LIKE AN AUDITION? I COULD LIKE TOTALLY ACT! YOU SEE, LISTEN TO ME NOW, I'M LIKE AN AMERICAN YET LIKE I HAVE THE BEST BRITISH ACCENT EVER!! YOU SEE ALSO SINCE I'M LIKE A VAMPIRE I CAN WORK DAY AND NIGHT TOO! YOU WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TO PAY ME A PENNY OF YOUR GREAT MONEY! WOULD YOU PLEASE LIKE SIGN MY HEAD? I WILL LIKE NEVER WASH IT! ANYTHING LIKE YOUR GODLY HAND TOUCHES WILL TURN TO GOLD! PLEASE COME WITH ME AND WE CAN TALK MORE PRIVATELY ABOUT ALL GREAT THINGS HARRY POTTER! I LOVE YOU" J.K was trying with all her heart to break free of Jasper's grip, but it was useless. He was starting to pull her along back towards the street when Edward and Emmett caught him and pulled him off.

Even though we had controlled Jasper, all of us were told to leave by security. They said that J.K.'s lawyers would be in touch with us. It seemed rather extreme.

When we boarded the plane to get home, we were all pretty mad at Jasper. None of us had ever been to a premiere at all, and he had ruined it with his stupid uncontrollable obsession.

Even though our feeling should be radiating off us and hitting Jasper making him feel bad, he had something to keep his spirits up. Not to our surprise J.K. Rowling had put a strict restraining order on Jasper. This should have made him sad, but J.K. Rowling's signature was on it, so it didn't, he sat for the whole plane ride ogling at it.

Everyone except Jasper was relieved when we pulled into the Cullen's driveway. Carlisle and Esme where on the front porch waiting for us. Carlisle and Esme gave everyone hugs, and kisses, and beckoned that we all come in and sit in the parlor to tell them about our trip. We told them about Jasper and J.K. Rowling's encounter. Carlisle was particularly stressed about Jasper revealing he was a vampire to J.K. Rowling. I had remained quiet the whole time, just listening to what everyone else had to say. The talk settled down, and then Esme addressed me in a motherly tone, "Bella dear, did you have a fun time?"

I yawned when I said my next phrase cuddling into Edward, who was on the couch next to me.

"Mrs. Cullen, you have a very strange son…"

**A/N: **Okay, I'm up at 12:30 finishing this, so I better get some reviews. The next Chapter is going to have something to do with the book obviously, but will have spoilers in it, so be prepared to not read it if you haven't finished. Okies. Well, I is tired, and wasn't to go to bed, so PLEASE REVIEW PEOPLES, OR I WILL MAWR YOU! O-o Thanks to all the people that have waited for this! I lovies you guys!-.


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